It’s the new year. Time for a check-in.
Here’s a single mom truth: No one routinely checks in to see how you’re doing. This isn’t meant as a despair thing. It’s more like a heads-up, a reminder that we need to check in with ourselves.
A good partner would naturally check in. He’d ask how your day was. For many years, I had no partner. I needed to do self-check-ins. Granted, my friends and family would check in, but we all know that’s just different. They aren’t living the day-in, day-out experience with you as a partner would. Similarly, there were plenty of times in my life when I was single, and yet I didn’t feel this need to check in with myself. My life was not that demanding.
Here’s another single mom truth: The demands of single motherhood are extraordinary. The equilibrium-destroying weight of raising kids on your own puts you off-balance. It’s all yin and no yang. If you don’t check in, you will stagger, stumble, and lurch through life like a zombie.
14th century, Persian poet Hafiz speaks to this weight in his poem, The Sacred Dance for Life. Here’s an excerpt:
I sometimes forget
that I was created for Joy.
My mind is too busy.
My Heart is too heavy
for me to remember
that I have been
called to dance
the Sacred dance of life.
In the spirit of dancing for our lives, I’m giving us an activity to do in this fresh, new year. It’s great for keeping yourself balanced and on pointe. Ready? It’s complicated so pay attention.
Ask yourself: “How’s it going?”
Did you end up in a pool of tears? That’s okay. Did you end up realizing you’re really angry? That’s okay too. Did you end up thinking, it’s not too bad today? That’s okay as well. It’s just a matter of letting you know that you care about how you’re doing. It restores balance in your soul so you can remember that you have been called to dance the Sacred dance of life.
In case you’re not sure what to do next now that you’ve established how you’re feeling today, here’s the second half of that poem:
I was created to smile
To Love
To be lifted up
And to lift others up.
O’ Sacred One
Untangle my feet
from all that ensnares.
Free my soul.
That we might
Dance
and that our dancing
might be contagious.~Hafiz
Happy New Year! May you dance every day!
As always, this is a rough-cut excerpt from a book I’m writing about how to change your narrative as a single mom. If you enjoyed this, forward it to a single mom or someone you think might enjoy it as well.